On walking away


One day  you’re on the top of the world then the next thing is you will find yourself walking away from all the pains inside you. In the world where you can be alone and just sit and sip a cup of coffee and read an actual book. It’s temporary but  a comfort.

Thank you and goodbye 2017


2017 Started with me having my last bottle of alcohol.

I got the worst pain ever and I found myself immune to all pain killers. I consumed tons and tons and tons. I felt like dying back then. I learned I got a tumor on me. I thought I was dying but I overcome my fear. The pain feels like a threat. But I fought it. I didn’t allow my pain interfere with my work. I worked hard despite the pain. I didn’t complain. I didn’t give up. I shed tears. I cried silently until I can no longer hold the pain and I think at some point I wan’t to give up. But I didn’t.

Last 2017 is the time that I truly understand my pain.

This post is better late than not having to say goodbye to 2017.



Into the ground


I tried to fly

yet I can’t find my wings.

I drop to the ground

with nothing to hold on.

I fought being dragged down.

I grip into the darkness.

I struggle to survive

and keep on breathing.

Life have been drifted away

I’m barely alive

When I closed my eyes.

Everything stops.